Friday, October 9, 2009


I am finished on so many levels. The first is with about the 10th edit of the newly named La Rose (formally La Fleur). I guess that the book is ok. I like it. It is long. I was recently told during an argument with a family member that no one would ever read it, mainly because no one is interested. Perhaps it is true. Nevertheless, it means something to me. A friend has read a previous version which contains both books (or volumes). She liked it quite a bit. She is brutally honest person, so if she did not like it, she would have stopped after the first 10 pages. I will accept her testimony.

It is funny. Those closest to you have the least faith in you and what you're working on, your passion. This one person in particular resents it (and nearly all that I do) because it takes attention away from them. If I am writing, it is a solitary task, leaving little time for socializing. With the recent events, I believe that I have chosen wisely. It is good that I did not waste my time with them.

With that being said, I am finished with my relationship with this person. I can no longer stroke them and make them them focus of my life. Sadly, when I stood up for myself with them (which I rarely do) they did not hesitate to demonstrate to me how little I actually mean to them. Other family members wish for us to reconcile, but I have no desire to do so at this time. In fact, they took their side, imply that drinking spurred my actions. I was not drunk. In fact, I have been sober (at least for me) for some time now. If I had been properly medicated, I would never have had the courage to stand up to them. Sometimes things happen for the best. I believe that this is one of those instances.

So now, it is just me and my writing. Everyone has left the office for the evening, off to enjoy themselves. I will sit here for awhile, read and then head out to a friends to sleep.

I am not sad, but I am. I am not depressed. I am angry. These feelings shall pass. Maybe I am wrong. Probably so, since the other party is ALWAYS right, even when they know that they are wrong, skillfully spinning the facts to justify themselves, conveniently forgetting information that disputes their point. I have seen them do it to so many of our other friends and acquaintances over the years. Now it is my turn. Did I believe that I was above the law? Not really. I knew in my heart that this day would come.

Yes, I am free from their tryanny. It is time to walk out into the unknown.


  1. There is nothing worse than not having the support of the people closest to you. I wish you luck with this relationship, and whatever happens, don't get discouraged.

  2. It's hard when you need the support and it's not there for you. My husband does not understand my desire to write but God gave me the vision and idea for it and not him so he can't understand my thoughts. Even if nothing ever comes of it, congrats and you wrote a book and that is yours forever. So yeah!!!!! :O)