New Life

After splitting La Fleur in two, I am finding that it is taking on a new life of its own. There is more explanation as to what is going on, instead of allowing much of it to remain in the shadows, leaving it for the reader to figure out. I am not sure how I feel about this. I kind of enjoyed the mystery of it all. It is still there, but different somehow.

It seems to be going in many different directions, headed for a common end. Once I finish, I will sit down and read it (hopefully without the aid of my red pen). I believe that it will flow well.

I have been considering self publishing. However, I am not much of a saleswoman so I am sure if it would be wise to do so. I am still receiving rejection notices and my hopes are waning on a publisher picking up the novel. In any case, I could sell a few copies to friends and family who are interested in reading it. I am still mulling it all over.

Well, back to work!

Workload

Writing daily has become a challenge. Either I'm bogged down with work, uninspired or just emotionally drained. For the past week, I have been so busy, that I cannot write after work. If do get a few moments, I find that my thoughts are scattered... I have to reread what I have written in an effort to unify with the tale once again. I have also started going to the gym... I am so tired. I feel as if I am being pulled in 40 different directions.

I think that I am also distressed because one of the storylines that I have added back in does not seem to flow well. I think that I am more concerned with length. I don't know. I am just confused right now. Perhaps I should take a break.

There is just too much story to tell. Everyone wants me to tell their full story. Anton, Claude, Chantelle, Isabel, Gosh they are all driving me nuts. I cannot tell everyone's saga in one book. So I must decide, should I just write the book, or should I write something that a publisher would be willing to take on?

I know, we have visited this question many times before, but for real? I have put so many years into this. I cannot not tell the story, though. Maybe I should just self-publish the novel that I wish to write and sell to those who are interested. That may be my best bet. I cannot cut it again. That is probably the reason why I am struggling so. I am not being true to my characters. I have become more interested in making a buck (which they should all know that I desperately need). But sometimes when you follow your heart, it will lead you to your heart's desire, n'est pas?

Well, I've been following my heart all of these years. Why be rational and stop now? I will do it my way, as I have traditionally done.

Containing the Beast

Novels within a novel... That is what it has become. I don't know what to do anymore. I guess that I will just go with it. Two new stories are unfolding for 2 other characters... I knew that the stories were there... But once again, I worry that it is too much detail to contain in one novel. I have already split it once.

I cannot worry about it. See, I am still trying to write within the constraints of what an imaginary audience/publisher might enjoy. I'm just going to write it.

But when does it end? I guess that it is over when it is over. Gee whiz, I don't see how I'm going to keep this under 200K words.

Scattered - Day Two

Ugh. This is not going so well. I am considering removing the scenes that I just re-inserted. At this rate, I will be at 300K words again. Well maybe not. There is just too much to say and I am trying to be consciencious of my word count.

On the train this morning, I remember the words of one of my Snuggery buddies. "Claudia, write the book that you want to write." Ray told me that. He's right. I think that I am trying to mold my work so that I can publish it. Perhaps I should return to my first love and just write the story. Hell, either someone will pick it up or they won't. If it is good, will it not sell itself to the right publisher anyway?

I am not sure why I am so concerned with publishing anyway. It is a distraction. This is where my problem lies. I cannot write for the market. I am only required to write the story.

Scattered

My energy, my focus is scattered. Did you ever have one of those days, weeks or months?

I know what I should do, and that is focus on completing the edit of La Rose. Then I am distressed on what to add in, leave out or take out. Then I am being bombarded by passages for the other novels, ALL OF THEM. To top it off, I have to do my job. It is a challenge to focus on my work because all of my characters are talking to me. I have to tell them to wait a minute. When I get the minute what do I hear? Silence!

Ugh! Look guys, if you wish for me to spend all my time with you, you need to make me wealthy so that I do not have to work! LOLLOL

I know, I'm nuts. I never told anyone otherwise.

Sha-La-La

My All Time Favorite Al Green cut. I am an Al Green fanatic. He speaks to my heart and soul.

Absent

I have been so busy at work. I can find little time to do anything else, including posting to this blog. Needless to say, I have done very little on La Rose as well.

It is so strange refering to the novel as La Rose. I wear a charm rose on a gold chain about my wrist. On August 1st, right after I split the book, the charm broke in two. I was devestated, but it was symbolic in a way. Now, I wear both pieces on the chain. When I look at it, my heart aches that I have split my child in two, but at the same time I am comforted. The girls needed to be seperated so that they may both have the opportunity to express themselves fully.

Divided

The incision was painless, the surgery, a success. Both patients are doing well, resting comfortably under their new titles. Although apart, they are still one in spirit, stretching and growing into the own, but still one heart.

LOL... Yes, I split the novel today. I think the final word count for La Rose, (formally book one of La Fleur) will come in between 170-175,000 words. We will see for La Fleur(Book two).

I am very excited, but melancholy at the same time. However, I think that it will be better this way. We will see.