Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Last night, I went home and apologized. Do I believe that I am wrong? No. I won't go into it, but sometimes we just need to bite our tongues and eat crow to make peace in the house. That is what I had to do. Do I feel better? No. But it does not matter. Everyone else is happy.

Although I read my horoscope daily, I fail to read my Bible verse of the day (backslider). I am a brat with my Brother. Sometimes I feel that He has forgotten me, when it is I who has turned my back on Him. So Jesus, I am sorry for being a bitch. I guess that I am tired of always having to settle and concede. But You did it for us willingly. So who am I? Am I better than You now? Don't thinka so. So I apologize for behaving with You as other members of my family have treated me. I am no better.

Oh. So anyway, I read my bible verse for today (www.biblegateway.com):

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- Jeremiah 29:11

God is funny. Even after I have been a drunken chain smokin, cussin, selfish, fist fighting bitch, he would still consider me? Well, maybe he is talking to someone else. I don't deserve it.

But what if he would consider me? After so many years of suffering, would he remember me? Why would you? There are people out there who have endured and suffered far worse and have maintained an exceptional level of hope and faith in You. I cannot stomach attending church. I will attend Mass from time to time. Why would you consider an ungrateful, jelly backed bitch like me?

But I would be forever grateful if you did. ;-) For only You can release me.


  1. Well, sweetie pie, I believe (and this is just me, okay?) that God loves us no matter what. Even more when we think we are failing miserably at LIFE. And I also beleive that he just keep on loving us and giving us opportunities to choose differently, again and again and again. So-big hugs to you, and just keep on keepin' on.

  2. I mean, I feel that same way alot of times, but God loves ALL of us and his love is perfect. I was at church once and the pastor said soemthing along the lines of how God does not see us how we see ourselves. None of us really deserve God's love, but he gives it to us anyway. :o)