Goin' Up In Smoke

Not feeling very well these days. I'm tired and the walls seem to be closing in on me. I don't think that I am well.

It is a beautiful day outside. My father has decided to barbecue today, so I must go over. I just want to stay home and convalesce today. I need to cut the grass.

I am lonely, I suppose. Maybe interactions with others would help. I've been indoors all weekend watching TV and drinking. I have not worked on Resurrection. The story is improving as bit. I am rewriting much of it. It is beginning to look like Julian will be the dominate character in this one. He is really coming into his own as an asshole and he has no qualms about being himself.

I like Julian. True freedom to put oneself first, telling people what is really on your mind without concern for their feelings or the repercussions of one's words. i wish that I could be more like Julian.