Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Auto pilot

Dare I say that I feel better today? Depression is weird, once you're in it, you don't want to let it go. But I am not depressed, just tired, desperately in need of a vacation. I spent some time yesterday checking out vacation hot spots in Paris, Brussels, Seychelles, Mauritius, and other locales around the world. Unless God opens up the floodgates and rain some financial blessings down on me, there is NO WAY I can visit these spots anytime soon. But I did take some comfort just looking at the pictures and dreaming of what it is like to live such a life.

Can you imagine it? A life with no financial concerns? One has money all of the time instead of finding their checking account on empty with payday more than 7 days away? Not living on credit, but on actual money... on wealth? What is it like to receive a bill in the mail and not have to figure out how to pay? One simply sits at their desk and writes the check. No worries about miscalculating the balance in the account, thus causing the check to bounce to high heaven. Just write the check and don't worry about it again. Go to the grocery store and stock up. Go out to dinner with friends, choosing whatever you desire to eat from the menu. Picking up and jaunting out of town for the weekend. Going on worldwind tours. Living life without boundries.

It is a nice dream. But in my case, I must figure out how to make the little money that I have left stretch for two weeks. This sh*t is a drag.

But even while I continue to b*tch, I still manage to do some work on La Rose. It is never ending as well. Maybe I need a break from it. But what else would I do? I am just irritated because I am at a part in the story that I do not enjoy. The characters are enduring some unbelievably bad times right now and things will only get worst before they get any better. Kinda like life itself huh? But things do eventurally improve. It will take about 30 years though.

Yeah, I'm not in the mood to edit this part right now. I think that I will work on Resurrection for awhile and watch Julian be an as*hole.

1 comment:

  1. I think of that sometimes, what it would be like to just be able to pay the bills and buy what I want at the grocery store. Not happening in this lifetime, but still. I, too, look at vacation spots and wish...and I am so glad you are feeling better.