Workload

Writing daily has become a challenge. Either I'm bogged down with work, uninspired or just emotionally drained. For the past week, I have been so busy, that I cannot write after work. If do get a few moments, I find that my thoughts are scattered... I have to reread what I have written in an effort to unify with the tale once again. I have also started going to the gym... I am so tired. I feel as if I am being pulled in 40 different directions.

I think that I am also distressed because one of the storylines that I have added back in does not seem to flow well. I think that I am more concerned with length. I don't know. I am just confused right now. Perhaps I should take a break.

There is just too much story to tell. Everyone wants me to tell their full story. Anton, Claude, Chantelle, Isabel, Gosh they are all driving me nuts. I cannot tell everyone's saga in one book. So I must decide, should I just write the book, or should I write something that a publisher would be willing to take on?

I know, we have visited this question many times before, but for real? I have put so many years into this. I cannot not tell the story, though. Maybe I should just self-publish the novel that I wish to write and sell to those who are interested. That may be my best bet. I cannot cut it again. That is probably the reason why I am struggling so. I am not being true to my characters. I have become more interested in making a buck (which they should all know that I desperately need). But sometimes when you follow your heart, it will lead you to your heart's desire, n'est pas?

Well, I've been following my heart all of these years. Why be rational and stop now? I will do it my way, as I have traditionally done.

Scattered - Day Two

Ugh. This is not going so well. I am considering removing the scenes that I just re-inserted. At this rate, I will be at 300K words again. Well maybe not. There is just too much to say and I am trying to be consciencious of my word count.

On the train this morning, I remember the words of one of my Snuggery buddies. "Claudia, write the book that you want to write." Ray told me that. He's right. I think that I am trying to mold my work so that I can publish it. Perhaps I should return to my first love and just write the story. Hell, either someone will pick it up or they won't. If it is good, will it not sell itself to the right publisher anyway?

I am not sure why I am so concerned with publishing anyway. It is a distraction. This is where my problem lies. I cannot write for the market. I am only required to write the story.